


If it is my fate to forget, why am I here?

by Tkhan0



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Gen, Kingdom Hearts III Spoilers, Takes place in Scala ad Caelum, Technically post-kh3???, The final battle already happened in a sense
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-30
Updated: 2019-03-30
Packaged: 2019-12-26 13:01:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,292
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18282845
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tkhan0/pseuds/Tkhan0
Summary: The day Xehanort goes to the play islands with the intent to leave the wretched place for good, he receives more than he can ask for in the form of his future self gifting him incredible time powers and his first real mission.When he faces defeat at the hands of Sora he assumes he'll return to the destiny islands and live out the rest of his painfully boring teenage life.Two things are wrong about that assumption:The next time he wakes up, his life is anything but normal. He doesn't recall anything that has happened since the day he went to the play islands.And this is not Destiny Islands.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I'd been meaning to write more young xehanort for awhile when someone mentioned how the org members forget everything upon return to their times so as not to disrupt the future. So this kinda follows that logic? But Im also kinda just writing what I want so fuck it.

He blearily blinks his eyes open, waiting for the colors and shapes to come into focus. His head is pounding and feels like it's stuffed with cotton as he tries to process things.

After what feels like ages, his vision clears up and he can make out his surroundings. A bed- not his he determines after staring at the pattern on the sheets for far too long.

Slowly he shifts himself up to survey the room closer. Immaculate walls and ornate furniture inform him that this is not a place he knows. Why is he here? Trying to follow that train of thought proves an impossibly strenuous task, and he gives up flopping back down with a groan.

He hears a shuffle of movement and, for the first time, he notices a chair placed directly at the foot of the bed. The chair is occupied by a boy he doesn't recognize who seems to have been silently observing him in worry. He lightens just a little when Xehanort finally makes eye contact with him, making to say something, but Xehanort interrupts- or attempts to.

“ _What_ …” he rasps, his voice scratchy from disuse.

“Oh!” The boy says as if just remembering something, before grabbing a cup of water from a table in the back of the room. He hands it to Xehanort, who accepts it gratefully. The water soothes his throat and clears the fog a little. He sets the cup on a stand next to the bed before continuing. “Who are you?” he decides to start with this time.

“Name's Eraqus. And yours?”

“Xehanort.” A pause. “Where am I? What happened?”

The boy frowns “You mean you don't know?”

“Should I?”

“We were hoping you would… you just kinda showed up on the docks two days ago and you've been asleep the whole time. You were pretty roughed up when the townsfolk found you. I was worried you weren't gonna make it.”

He furrows his brows at this. With events as drastic as that, why doesn't he remember what happened?

“Docks? Is this an island?” None of the islands at home had any building with rooms as nice as this. Had he finally made it someplace new? Was it another world?

“Wait, you seriously don't know where we are? Are you really not from around here? How'd you even get here then?”

The more he thinks about it, he realizes something; he doesn't remember ever actually setting off Destiny Islands by boat. All he remembers is going to the play islands and then…

There's a big blank of time between then and now.

What happened in that missing time?

And how _did_ he get here?

“I… don't remember. The last thing I remember, I was at home on Destiny Islands.”

“Destiny… Islands? Never heard of them before.” Eraqus’ eyes go wide as he gasps “Are you from another world?!”

Judging by his reaction, “...I think so.”

“Wow! That's so cool! I've never even _seen_ another world! Oh but I am training so I can one day…” He trails off before picking up again. “Well, Xehanort,” He says bright and energetic as he rushes to the other side of the bed to reach over and pull aside the curtains, pushing open the window behind his head. “Welcome," he steps back and gestures out the window for Xehanort to see "to Scala ad Caelum.”

The view from up here is almost dizzying. It takes him a moment to realize he _is_ actually getting dizzy, having forgotten to breathe at the sight of it all.

Water surrounds the city on all sides as far as the eye can see. Gondolas ferry people to and fro across the separate parts of the whole, and they're at the center of it all, at the highest one. Windmills spin idly in a constant breeze, seagulls squawk as they fly overhead the marble-white blockish structures that litter the city.

He's rendered speechless by it all.

“Ok now I _know_ you're not from around here. The look on your face says it all.”

“This place is… _gorgeous._ ”

Eraqus makes a noise of agreement. “I am partial to the view from up here, but the view from below looking up is also impressive. Good at making you feel small though.”

Xehanort was feeling more than a little small in this place.

Eraqus sizes Xehanort up, as if debating to ask a burning question before he caves. “So if you're not from here… Is that normal attire where you live?

“What…?” He looks down at his clothes for the first time, kicking off the sheet to look down the length of his body, confused. A long black leather coat adorns him and he wonders how he's not burning up right now. Or maybe he is, he thinks, suddenly feeling very lightheaded.

“I don't…” he starts, looking down at dark gloved hands, “know what this is.”

“Geez, at this rate it might be quicker just to ask what you _do_ remember. You've just raised more questions than answers. How could you forget putting something like that on? It looks pretty uncomfortable.”

“Yea it kinda is…” But the growing discomfort he feels has nothing to do with the insufferable coat.

He had finally managed to get off the islands, only to forget how he even accomplished it. How much time had passed since that day? There was no glaring differences yet, but how could he be sure he hadn't lost months of time? He felt different, out of sync with reality. He's positive it couldn't have been too long ago since he had planned to set sail but he  couldn't connect the boy from the islands to who he was now. The two were incongruent, their pieces didn't line up.

Something significant must have happened between now and then, yet those memories had been robbed from him and he had been found in a new land at the edge of his life.

The whole thing was unsettling.

He startles out of his thoughts as Eraqus lightly clears his throat. He must've looked pretty troubled because Eraqus sounds concerned when he asks “Are you okay?”

“Yea… Sorry. It's nothing.”

Eraqus looks like he doesn't quite believe that, but doesn't push it. “Well, okay... Anyway, I should probably go tell the master you woke up before he chews me out for not telling him sooner. Maybe he'll be able to help you figure things out. Or at least give you something to change into because _that,_ ” he gestures at the coat “has got to go.”

Despite everything, that gets a light laugh out of him. “Right.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Listen, I _really_ want to continue this, and I have inklings of how I might, but I'm marking it complete for now because I'm not sure if I'll be able to turn this into something.


	2. Chapter 2

Noise registers in his mind and he wants to ignore it, wants to turn over and tune it out, but his mind is on alert, as if anticipating conflict, unwilling to let him sink back into the depths of unconsciousness even though he refuses to open his eyes.

Before he can convince himself there is no threat, a presence is on his forehead and his brain kicks into high-gear. He’s on his feet and brandishing a blade at the intruder, his other blade at his side, on standby, before he can process what’s going on.

“Xehanort! Hey Xehanort! Relax! It's just the Master; calm down!”

He looks from the man to Eraqus, back to the man. Before dismissing his blades with a quiet “Oh.”

He didn't think he had been that tired, but he must've fallen asleep at some point after Eraqus had left to find the man. He bows deeply “Im sorry. Forgive me, Master…?”

“Altan. Do not worry, my boy. Although I must admit, that was quite a way to learn we had a new wielder in training on our hands!”

“Wielder in training?”

“Yes, you are training to become a keyblade wielder, are you not?”

“Key...blade?” He says, rolling the words around in his mouth. It shouldn't have sounded familiar to him at all yet just uttering the name felt like deja vú. There was a nagging in the back of his head that this was something important to him at one point, even though he had just now learned of it.

“...I suppose not then. But your form alone suggests you possess the power to, should you choose to study it. The keyblade can only be wielded by those of strong hearts. They are meant to protect the worlds and keep the order. And keyblade masters such as myself may choose to pass on the power to potential wielders. Xehanort, was it? I believe you have already been introduced to my disciple Eraqus?”

It was a lot to take in, and it was in his nature to ask questions, but his mind accepted the explanation with ease, as if being reminded of a story it had forgotten the details of. “Yes sir, we were acquainted when I first woke up.”

“I see. He has informed me you may be from another world, is that correct?”

“I believe so. I'm from Destiny Islands.”

The Master quirks an eyebrow, seemingly taken aback by the answer. “The Destiny Islands? No one has departed offworld from there in years. How did you manage to do that?”

“Well… I don't actually remember that…”

“Hm? You don't? Well surely you must remember something about what happened to you? The injuries that had been inflicted on you seemed to indicate…” The Master mumbles the last part, as if talking more to himself than Xehanort.

“No, I'm afraid I don't. I remember I had planned to set off from the islands, but I never even embarked the boat I had setup. Everything since I arrived at the shoreline is a blank.”

The Master regards him seriously in silence for a moment before speaking up. “That is rather peculiar… yours is a curious case indeed, Xehanort. I suppose there is only one question worth asking at the moment then. Do you wish to return to the islands?”

It was a fair question, and one he should have expected, all things considered, but even though that day he thought there would never be a reason to return he still hesitates.

The Islands were familiar, calm; unchanging and unquestioning. He could return there now and forget this whole encounter. Could quietly go the rest of his life as a peaceful islander.

He knows that isn't what he wanted but he can't help but consider the options at hand nonetheless. It feels final. Like whatever option he decides will change the course of his life forever.

And yet… he feels drawn to this place, a moth to a flame. Could he really ignore all that has happened here? Something about this feels right. Like Scala ad Caelum is where he was always meant to be.

He had to have ended up here for a reason.

“No.” he finally answers “I'd like to stay here in Scala.”

“Then it is decided. You are welcome to stay here as long as you desire. I sense great power in you that, with training, could be channeled to wield the keyblade. As such, I would like to extend an invitation for you to join Eraqus as my disciple.” Eraqus, who had been silently watching the exchange lights up, seemingly excited by the thought of a new partner in training. “You may both one day make worthy apprentices. However, it is ultimately up to you what you choose to do. There are still many other classes available to you that will improve your form and abilities.”

Eraqus watches him expectantly for an answer, which he just as eagerly provides “I would be honored if you would have me as your disciple, Master Altan.”

“Yes!” Eraqus pumps a fist into the air in celebration, much to Xehanort's amusement.

“Excellent. Very well then, I would advise you to rest until you are fully recovered, but I understand you may be a bit restless being in such a foreign place.” The Master turns to Eraqus “Eraqus, would you like to show our new resident around?”

Eraqus looks like an excited puppy when he says “Of course, Master Altan!”

While he is excited as well, although hopefully less visibly so, he can’t help but feel like they’re all moving on exceptionally fast, glancing over the events that brought him.

The Master seems to pick up on this because he asks “You still seem troubled, Xehanort. Does something bother you?”

“Yes… What of my missing memories?”

“Do not worry yourself too deeply over them. If they are meant to return, you will find them in due time. However, the nature of those memories may have been quite traumatic. There may be a reason you cannot remember what led you here. Do not lose yourself in matters the heart has kept secret.”

He looks down again at his outfit in contemplation. While the Master's words make sense, he can't shake the feeling this is all tied to something bigger than him. It feels like he has been offered a thread to follow, and that if he doesn't follow it, he will lose the chance forever. He doesn't want to wait around for memories that may not return. The mind was a fickle being.

If he wanted answers he knew he'd have to seize them himself. But the matter of how… that was still a mystery to him.

“Ah yes,” the Master speaks again, breaking him from his thoughts “Eraqus mentioned you would need new clothes. There are some on the dresser for you to change into as you see fit.”

“Oh!” He bows politely “Thank you, Master Altan!”

“Do not mention it. I shall be taking my leave now, but you may come to me if you have any questions. When you are ready, your training can begin.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hate having to give names to characters we know logically should exist but don't have an established name for, but what can you do?
> 
> The reason why I was so hesitant to continue this is because, when I started this, I knew it essentially could only be two things.
> 
> A self-fulfilling prophecy that follows Xehanort's descent into darkness as he tries to find his lost memories
> 
> Or a paradox where he ends up diverging from the set path, which would cause the rest of the events in kingdom hearts not to happen. 
> 
> I actually like both scenarios, even if the second doesn't make sense and destroys everything- because sometimes you just want there to be a happy ending, even if it doesn't make sense ok?!
> 
> But my question to any prospective readers, who would be interested in this if I continued is: Which would you prefer this be? Does it matter to any of you who'd consider keeping up with this which way I went with it? 
> 
> Well I guess if I don't get any responses I'll just decide on my own but it'd be nice to hear from someone else what they think.

**Author's Note:**

> Listen, I _really_ want to continue this, and I have inklings of how I might, but I'm marking it complete for now because I'm not sure if I'll be able to turn this into something.


End file.
